I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
