Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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