do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize