we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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