I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
