I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
