ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
