Ambien. No doubt about it.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
