We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
