all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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