We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
