i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
