You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
