I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
