thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just gargled with NyQuil
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
