it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
