we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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