He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize