Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
