I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
