NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize