Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
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