were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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