Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
