I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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