I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize