saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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