I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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