margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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