In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
