Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
