You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize