Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize