His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
