used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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