If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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