This is not my ceiling
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
