I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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