It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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