I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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