she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize