if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Someone came in the potted fern
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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