Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
