It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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