Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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