We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize