i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
