maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you inspire me to be a worse person
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
