My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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