can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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