Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
