Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
