Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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