i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize