The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
