I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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