You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize