Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
