I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
