you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm at about main and main street
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
