I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Are we still banned from the library?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
