I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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