why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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