The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
