I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
